Dating in open relationships

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Non-monogamous committed relationships are on the rise, at least if our Google searches are to be believed. On-screen, too, less traditional relationship boundaries are being explored more and more. Molly navigated being a secondary partner on Insecure last season, Netflix has a whole show called Wanderlust that watches Toni Collette and her husband, Steven Mackintosh, try to navigate long-term monogamy.

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I'm pretty sure monogamy was never for me. In fourth grade, I got in trouble with my boyfriend because he found out I had another boyfriend. Throughout high school and college, some of my relationships overlapped, and some were purely dishonest.

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He told me straight away he was in an established relationship, before our first date. I was initially very apprehensive as I thought there were lot of ways this could go wrong. In the past two years I found that this relationship is, in many ways, the best I have ever been in.

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At least in the Big Apple, it seems that only the Bronx Zoo swans and like five human singles are monogamous, so this bait-and-switch experience is basically a sad Bat Mitzvah of sorts. In recent years, along with the rise of app culture, dating has been all about diversifying your options. And it really begs the question: Can someone monogamous date someone polyamorous without it being, like, searingly painful for everyone involved?

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I cohost a podcast about dating, and that podcast has a secret Facebook group for listeners. It's a place they can share dating qualms, ask for advice, and generally boost my ego jokes! It's also one of the few comment sections on the internet that I can tolerate, and that's entirely due to our sweet listeners.

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What are the rules? Are there rules? Will it make or break your relationship and how will you cope either way?

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From swinging to polyamory, there are plenty of subcategories that fall under the larger umbrella term. But how do you know if any of them are right for you? First, you can consider the experiences of people already in open relationships, who have shared their stories with the Cut: Open marriage taught one man about feminism.

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I was gushing about the new man in my life, and Charles was adjusting admirably to the news. But then, he had to. That's the deal for a man in a polyamorous, open marriage who dates multiple partners.

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What else should we write about? Contact us: smarterliving nytimes. Open relationships are one of those concepts that can inspire confusion.

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I stared at my phone until my eyes hurt. We'd been dating for four months and I was completely infatuated with her, to say the least. We had the occasional threesome, which I enjoyed, yet the thought of trying an open relationship and my girlfriend sleeping with someone else felt like a step too far for me — I mean, just the thought of sleeping with someone who wasn't Grace seemed incomprehensible to me. It's sort of true.

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