Sex of my fathers

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When I tell people I wrote a book with my dad, they usually look at me with a mixture of curiosity and pity. Some confess they could never imagine doing that. Others ask how it went, in the same hushed tone you use at funerals.

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The unnamed doctor-narrator is drawn mostly to thuggish men. They exude a violent machismo, use him for sex and money, and move on to women when the tide turns. He befriends the head clerk of the establishment, Bada Babu, a fixer of sundry problems.

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There was a smell to the room, of stale perfume, my father's cigarettes and of bodies. Even so, I was drawn to this room, as if to danger, a wish to pit my puny strength against my father's, whose every command was law. My mother made up my parent's bed each day by dragging a thick maroon cover over the top to hide the rumpled sheets and blankets. She had dyed the bedspread the colour of dried blood, to hide the stains on what was once a white bedspread, which she had brought with her from Holland.

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It deserves to sit on book store shelves next to the latest biography of a fatuously famous star. First and foremost it's the bittersweet story of Crane's relationship with his popular father, including the period following actor Bob Crane's shocking murder. But Crane is much more than just a son's reminiscence.

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It's ugly and, even now, more than 25 years later, difficult for me to say. With my father, in his bed, I first experienced the bump and grind of sexual relations. It was his genitals I first explored; he was the first to touch my body sexually, and those hands have left an indelible imprint.

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My husband works abroad for six weeks at a time. I miss him terribly but we are saving up to buy our own house and the money is good. His parents suggested that we give up our rented flat and move in with them for a while to help us save the deposit for a house.

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Let me just get right into it. I have had a couple of re curring dreams about my fatherand even one with my brothers. They are sex-related, and in them no one seems to mind. I wake up feeling quite disturbed and disgusted with myself that I even had these dreams.

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This child grew up with a mom, dad, and baby sister, a regular average childhood. Loved by the whole family, everything was great until one night, something so clear, it will never and can never be erased from memory. My name is Beth, I am 30 years old, living in a small town, in a small state, where everybody knows everyone no matter where you go, and here is my story.

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In the Christian parenting books my dad wrote, we were always the most perfect devout family. When I found out he was secretly trolling for gay sex online, I became obsessed with unmasking the truth. My brothers started recording as soon as they hit the parking lot.

Comments

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